poem: prAy for me

This poem was written in effort to highlight the perspective of those who face unique challenges after accepting Christ for the first time.  It was written to encourage Christians to pray for those who are new to the faith and to provide continued love toward them with gentleness. (2 Timothy 2:14-26).  Lyrics are written below. 

Pray for Me

Written by Tina B

© Copyright Tina B Poetry. 2014. All rights reserved.

 

 

I can't fight this feeling

I’m so tired of pretending things are normal when

My path really ain’t the straightest

And my choices aren’t always the greatest

In fact they're considered wayward

I’d be favored among sinners and strayed men

Aye man,

I’m just trying to press my eyelids and hands

Bow my head, say “Amen”

And be approved

Who knew life for me would be so cruel

No one ever told me about Christian persecution

 

They’d say my battle ain’t with myself, or with any other man

Instead it’s with powers and spiritual principalities

That I don’t really understand

All I know is that I’m struggling to do the right thing

‘Cause evil is always with me

Persistently pushing me

Testing me

Trying me

Tempting me

 

And each fall, I get weaker

My temper gets thinner

Temptation gets harder

Wisdom, farther

I feel far from the Father

Patience becomes complacent in this devastating state of hopelessness

I can’t help but feel helpless

‘Cause folks are selfish with their blessings

I’m screaming out for a rope

To save me

Persuade me

Help me cope

No joke

This struggle thing is sucking so much from within me

My legs

My steps

When I breathe, it’s my breath

Everything gets weak

It seems

I get up

Just to fall again

I stand

Just to stumble more

Cyclical sinning has my life spinning like a revolving door

Painful chapters pack my life’s folklore

But fictitious fairy tale smiles

Keep the truth concealed inside

Meanwhile

The fight within continues

Tangled nerves

Twisted sinews

Fighting for freedom from sin’s captivity

It’s funny

When I wanna do right

Evil is right there with me

 

Why is following Christ so costly

I came as I was but wasn’t ready for all this change

Trying to spend time with whom I’m supposed to,

I’ve bankrupted on friends I was close to

I broke habits and compounded my interest to learn more of Him

But now I’ve got more lonely days than I was banking for

This is expensive

To be set apart from the bulk and individually wrapped in Christ…

This life

It’s expensive walking in repentance

Don’t tell me about conviction

Without defining the difference

To a life converted

If I’m hurting, will you encourage me if I fall

Even if its seven times

Please, get the log out of your own eye before you reach for the speck in mine

I’m talking for real, will you do more

Than whisper, “Welcome to our church” then watch me wallow in my sores

I. Need. Help.

Love me more, and judge me less

Willing is my spirit but weak is my flesh

My flesh

It grows like cells, divided

Occupying spaces it has no business

It is cancerous, to the Body

Flesh. Cancerous. To the Body.

Can you show me how fasting is the chemo to such a spiritual affliction

Be honest

Do you even know

Cause if I’m a babe in the faith

Then how can you train a child in the way that he should go?

 

This poem wasn’t written with intentions to offend

It’s just to challenge your balance

Of practical advice with your spiritual influence

Do they walk in congruence

Keep your pride, give me proverbs

Give me prudence

Give me patience when you break it down

Can you be gentle?

Can you milk me the Word, because for now my taste buds are simple

And I haven’t yet acquired the desire of lamb

I just want Him who says, “I am”

 

I am telling you,

Sin lies in wait at my door

Death, jail, and divorce

Is surprising my family by storm

Can you strip from your fancy church clothes

And give me the explicit gospel some more

I need truth!

Not like brood viper Pharisees

Who’s lives are like fish drenched in sauces of hypocrisy

I don’t wanna be a person,

Who knows how to jump real high during praise and worship

But can’t walk real straight when things are far from perfect

The purpose of this poem is to ask you to do the same

Can you give a helping hand and give glory to His name at the same time?

I’m talking for real

Without hypocracy

Without the games

I’m not asking for you to play with me,

I’m asking for you to pray for me.